In a Matter of Moments
by GeneaLady
Summary: Life changes in the matter of moments, twice, for Ricky & Lucy. **RATED M for a DETAILED LOVE SCENE between a MARRIED couple & a SECOND TRIMESTER MISCARRIAGE which may be a PTSD TRIGGER for some.** This fanon fic is not inspired from the series, but the marriage of Desi & Lucy. However, it also gives an explanation as to why it took so long for Little Ricky to be conceived.
1. Tell Tale Signs & Happy News

**_Author's Note: This story is rated M for a very detailed love scene between a married couple and for a second trimester miscarriage which may cause a PTSD trigger in some. If either one of these bother you, please stop _**_**here.**_

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Lucy woke up to her stomach churning for the fourth time that week. She got up and looked at the clock, 6:11am. As much as she hated his work schedule, this week she was thankful that she'd been able to go back and forth to the bathroom without her very over protective husband being the wiser. He'd gotten home at 2, but they hadn't fallen asleep until sometime much later, she smiled at that thought. That meant Ricky would be asleep for hours yet. Lucy arrived at the toilet with just enough time to empty her stomach of the arroz con pollo they'd had the night before. After pausing for a moment, Lucy brushed her teeth and rejoined her husband in bed. "Just a few more hours," she thought to herself. Then she'd finally have some answers, although she already suspected the cause of the stomach issues that seemed to come like clockwork.

At 10:00am, Lucy was sitting on the sofa reading a book when her husband walked in, showered, but still wearing his robe as was his routine for breakfast since they'd been married. "Mornin', gorgeous," Ricky whispered in her ear as he hugged her from behind.

Feeling her husband's embrace, Lucy quickly got up to kiss him properly. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

"Yep. I worked up quite an appetite last night," he said seriously.

Lucy looked concerned, "You work too hard, honey, you need to take some time off."

Ricky's eyes twinkled as he playfully retorted, "I didn't mean at the club, baby."

Lucy gasped and blushed simultaneously as he swatted his shoulder, "Enrique Ricardo, you cad!"

"Yeah, well you like it," was his only response as husband and wife walked into the kitchen with their arms around the other's waist.

"I was hungry when I got up, so I've already eaten, but I'll make you anything you want and I'll sit with you while you eat," Lucy hated to lie to her husband for what felt like the tenth time that week concerning her eating habits, but her stomach couldn't take anything so early. Thankfully, by the time Ethel would be up, her stomach would be settled so she could eat something with her. She was never so thankful for Ethel's appetite as she had been this week.

"You work up an appetite, too?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hush now! Am I going to have to stuff your face with food to keep you from being cheeky?"

"You could... or you could kiss me."

Lucy looked at her husband seriously. "Isn't that what set us up for this conversation in the first place?" When she saw the hint of a pout on Ricky's face, her serious expression broke slowly into a smile and she leaned over to give him the kiss he had asked for, teasing his tongue gently with hers, but knowing that if she didn't release him soon, she would give him a hunger for more than breakfast.

Smiling from the taste of her kiss, Ricky started to wonder how it was that he ever got out of this apartment. "Ok seriously, bacon and eggs sounds good. I'm not in the mood for orange juice this mornin'. Jus' coffee is fine."

"Coming right up," Lucy kissed the top of Ricky's head before getting to work as he sat and read his paper.

"So what are you gunna do today, baby?"

Lucy paused. Darn it, another lie. "I'm not sure. I'm sure Ethel will be over at some point. I haven't decided if I feel like staying home or going into town to do some shopping."

"Well, I'll be home later. You were right earlier, all the boys are workin' hard. I think I'll give us a little extra time off this afternoon. The show's comin' along great."

"Good. I like it when you come home early." She kissed him again before handing him his food.

Ricky looked up at her as she put the plate in front of him and he raised an eyebrow. "I know, I should do it more often."

Lucy laughed. "Well, maybe if you did, you would be able to sleep at night!"

Ricky smiled as he started to eat. "Either that, or I wudn't sleep OR work…"

She sat next to him, smirking. "Oh, you're so innocent!"

He glanced over at her between bites. "Well, if you weren't so beautiful…

Lucy giggled and touched his cheek. "It's alright, I can't resist you, either…"

Before long it was time to head down to the club. "I'll be home later. I love you," Ricky wrapped his arms tightly around his wife's waist holding her tight to himself before leaning in to kiss her. Memories of the night before flooded her mind and she opened her mouth slightly so her tongue could dance with his briefly before he reluctantly pulled away.

"I'll see ya later," Ricky kissed her forehead and walked out the door.

Lucy smiled and walked back into the kitchen just in time to see Ethel knocking on the door before walking in. "Hi, Ethel! Hungry?"

"You need to ask? What did you make?"

Lucy laughed, "Bacon and eggs alright?"

"Perfect," Ethel eyed the food as the two friends sat down to eat.

"So what are your plans for the day, Ethel?"

"I'm not sure, I would like to go shopping, but Fred won't give me any money. It's funny. Most husbands like to see their wives in new dresses."

Lucy laughed, "Well, I'm not doing any shopping, but I was wondering if you wanted to go downtown with me anyway."

Ethel eyed her friend suspiciously. "Planning on bugging Ricky down at the club?"

Lucy rolled her eyes, "No, nothing like that. I have an appointment." She paused and looked down at her plate. "...a doctor's appointment."

Ethel's first reaction was to worry, "Lucy! Is something wrong? Does Ricky know?"

Lucy looked up. "No, nothing's wrong, or at least I don't think there is. But no, I didn't tell Ricky."

"Lucy, it's not like you to keep something like this from Ricky..."

"Ethel," Lucy cut in. "I think I... I think I might be pregnant again."

"Oh Lucy!" Ethel didn't know what to think. She knew her friends wanted children, but she also knew the pain the loss of their first pregnancy caused 2 years ago. "Are you happy about the possibility?"

Lucy paused, laying her hand on her stomach and trying to put words to how she felt, but that was pretty hard since she was unsure herself. "Oh, Ethel. Ricky and I want children so much, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. I know the answer I want, but I don't think I'm prepared to get either answer alone. Please say you'll go with me."

Ethel was surprised that Lucy felt the need to even ask, "Of course I'll go with you! Shopping can wait." She looked at Lucy, "Or maybe this will give us all the more reason to shop." The friends laughed before finishing the dishes and parting ways to change their dresses.

Before leaving, Lucy picked up a pad of paper to write Ricky a note.

_My Latin Loverboy,_

_In case you get home before I do, I just wanted to let you know that I went into town with Ethel. I'll be home soon. I love you._

_All my love,_  
_Lucy_

Once they got to the doctor's office, Ethel watched Lucy. While she'd always regretted not having children, she wasn't jealous of Lucy at the moment. She was pale, clenching and unclenching her fists, and pacing. She was surprised that no one had reprimanded her for fear that her heels would wear the carpet in the waiting room thin.

"Mrs. Ricardo?"

Lucy turned her head at the sound of the nurse calling her name then turned back to Ethel, "Well, here goes nothing," and walked back toward the patient rooms.

Lucy was fixing her dress for the umpteenth time when Dr. Harris walked in. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Ricardo. What can I do for you today?"

"Well," Lucy anxiously replied, "I've been feeling ill for the past week so I'd like to get to the bottom of it and find out what's causing it."

Dr. Harris didn't graduate from medical school yesterday and had seen that look on women many times, "I see. Well let's see what we can do about that. Do you recall eating something that could have been bad? Have you been around someone who you know was sick recently?"

"Oh, no." Lucy quickly dismissed the doctor's suggestions. "I've been quite fatigued and have been getting sick in the morning like clockwork. I'm beginning to think I'm going to start crowing it's happening so regularly in the morning," Lucy laughed before taking a deep breath, "I think I might be pregnant again actually."

Dr. Harris worked hard to maintain his professional demeanor and suppressed a smile. "Well, every pregnancy is different even in the same woman, but these do seem to be much like your symptoms when you came to me two years ago with that suspicion. Let's take some blood and find out."

The blood taken, Lucy waited again. Her hand went to her stomach as it had when she was eating with Ethel as she began to anticipate how she'd feel based on either outcome of the test. Her thoughts where interrupted when Dr. Harris returned carrying a piece of folded paper.

"Your results, Mrs. Ricardo." Lucy drew in her breath as she read one word. The only word that mattered at that moment: "Pregnant".

She looked up at the doctor still slightly shocked at the news in spite of her suspicions, "Thank you, Dr. Harris."

"It's my pleasure, Mrs. Ricardo," he returned. "Congratulations. You seem to be about 8 weeks again. You're really in tune to your body and that will make your pregnancy easier."

Lucy suddenly grew concerned. "Doctor..."

Dr. Harris looked at Lucy and took her hand. "Now Mrs. Ricardo, I know what you must be thinking, but your earlier miscarriage is no premonition of things to come as I told you two years ago. Actually, the fact that it took 2 years for you to become pregnant again is a good thing. Your body wasn't rushed to heal. I'll follow you regularly and if you stop smoking, get plenty of sleep, eat well, and don't over work yourself, I have no reason to be concerned for the wellbeing of your child. And I know that as a man, I have no idea what it's like, but as a doctor I am telling you to try to stop worrying. The stress isn't good for you or the baby."

Lucy smiled, her fears slightly reduced. She'd try her best not to worry, not because she wasn't worried, but because she had to for the sake of her baby.

In the waiting room, Ethel stood as she saw Lucy return and tried to read her face. She knew that, no matter what the results, the waiting room was not an appropriate place to discuss such things, but she was dying to know. Finally outside she turned to Lucy. "Well?"

Lucy instantly broke out into a smile, "I was right, Ethel! I'm pregnant!"

Ethel quickly hugged her. "Oh, Lucy! I'm so happy for you! Do you want to go shopping?"

Lucy laughed. "No. Ricky said he was coming home early so I want to be there when he gets home."

"Ricky! Are you home?" Lucy walked into the apartment to find it empty so she grabbed the note she'd written, tossed it in the trash, and put her feet up to read as she waited for her husband's return.

Minutes later, Ricky walked in the door and Lucy stood to meet him.

"You're in a good mood," Ricky observed. "Did you buy an expensive dress I'm going to have you return while you were out with Ethel today?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"No... Ethel and I did go into town, but we didn't go shopping," Lucy wondered how much longer she could keep the conversation going before the temptation to just blurt out her news over took her.

"Then what did you do?" he asked.

"Well... I've been feeling a little off lately, so Ethel went with me to the doctor."

At the word "doctor", Ricky's shoeblack eyes bugged out and his dark eyebrows shot up. "Lucy! What's wrong? Why didn't you call me?" Ricky panicked.

Lucy wrapped her arms around her husband to calm him. "Dear, calm down. I'm fine. In fact...," she paused, eager yet slightly nervous about telling her husband her news. "I'm more than fine..."

Ricky looked at her puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"Ricky, baby…" She leaned in to whisper into his ear. "I'm having _your_ baby..."

Lucy pulled back just in time to see her husband's jaw drop. "Lucy... you mean you... we're... you're pregnant?!"

"I am!" She smiled widely.

"Oh, Lucy!" Ricky instantly pulled her back close to him in a tight embrace leaning down to whisper into her ear. "Mi amor, estoy muy feliz y emocionado I can't even believe it! Estas es la major noticia…lo sabia, sabia que iba a suceder de nuevo…I tol' you it would."

Once his ramblings stopped, Lucy looked up at Ricky again. "So you're happy?"

Ricky was shocked that she could ask such a question. "Of course I'm happy! Aren't you?"

"Of course I am," Lucy assured him. "But last time..."

Ricky suddenly kicked himself for not realizing that his wife might be worried. "Oh Lucy... the doctor said we could try again. Everything will be fine... Dun't count your hens before they're laid."

Lucy suppressed a laugh. Normally, she'd be quick to correct the idiom, but today she was thankful for her husband and the joy he brought into her life, even if it was unintentional. "I hope you're right," she replied.

"I love you so much, Lucy. You need to stay calm and dun't worry. It's better for you and the baby." Ricky ran his finger around a red curl.

Lucy nodded. "Yes, the doctor said the same thing. But it's hard…"

Ricky's eyes bore into Lucy's as he leaned down to kiss her. "Honey, let's just take one day at a time." When their lips touched, Lucy temporarily forgot her concerns. All that mattered was that she was in Ricky's arms, kissing him, and pregnant with his child. Lucy wrapped her arms around her husband's neck to deepen the kiss.

Suddenly, Ricky moved his arms to sweep Lucy into his arms. "Ricky!" Lucy squealed happily. "I need to start dinner."

"Not now... we can have leftovers later..."

"So what do you think we should do with the time I'd use cooking?" she asked impishly.

"Let me show you..." Ricky whispered seductively into her ear, cradling her in his arms and carrying her away to their bedroom.

Ricky laid her down gently and knelt over her body on the bed, one knee on either side of her waist, and looked down at her. He thought to himself that she'd never looked more beautiful and he was determined to show her how he felt. Their eyes locked as he began unbutton the front of Lucy's dress and he smiled as he saw her chest rise and fall as her breathing increased in speed. He removed the dress from his wife's body and admired her creamy white skin now only hidden by a beige bra and panties.

Ricky leaned down and touched Lucy gently before kissing his way to her ear and nibbled gently. "Te quiero tanto y eres tan hermosa. No podria estar mas feliz de lo que soy ahora." As he spoke, he gathered Lucy to his chest so he could reach around and unclasp her bra. Once that was done, he moved the straps down her arms exposing her firm breasts that were just as enticing to him bare as they were covered by a modest dress, and he couldn't help picturing them as they would grow fuller as her pregnancy went on, or how beautiful she'd look feeding their little boy or girl.

Ricky moved his kisses down Lucy's slender neck and he sighed as he inhaled her perfume. As he paid homage to Lucy's neck, Ricky's hands moved down to cup her breasts and he began to massage them gently, his thumbs running over her stiffened nipples. "Te quiero, te quiero este cuerpo que lleva a mi bebe. Yo nunca a te dejare ir." Lucy let out a sigh of pleasure and arched her back up as her husband's hands roamed her body.

Ricky's kisses slowly moved downward and as his mouth reached her left breast, his hand moved down to Lucy's waist. Lucy gasped as she felt Ricky's tongue on her skin. Ricky was so in tune to his wife, he knew exactly what pleased her. Ricky soon switched to give her right breast the attention it deserved while massaging her left.

When Ricky decided her breasts had enough attention, he moved his kisses down her body to her stomach. Lucy let out as small gasp and her eyes began to pool with tears as she heard her husband talk to their baby. "Te quiero a pesar de que nunca he conocido. No puedo esperar a verte y abrazarte."

Before long, his kisses continued south and Lucy could feel his hot breath on her already wet center through the thin fabric covering it. Ricky quickly slid her panties off and began placing kisses on her inner thighs before reaching her center. Lucy let out a loud gasp as she felt his tongue slide into her. Pleased at her reaction, Ricky began to pleasure his wife with his tongue, her moans better music to his ears than any rumba. Soon, Lucy was raising her hips to meet his mouth and she began to shake. Ricky lovingly stroked Lucy's outer thighs as he brought her to completion.

When she stopped, Ricky looked up to see his wife still breathing heavily, her creamy skin flushed, and her red hair splayed over the pillow. He moved up to lie next to his wife and kissed her softly. Soon, however, the kiss turned more passionate as Lucy rolled on her side to begin to undress Ricky. In no time, Ricky's clothes were off and his body was once again looming above hers. Lucy looked up into her husband's eyes, which were now inky black with passion, and breathlessly whispered, "Love me, Ricky..."

Ricky smiled down at her softly, his lips a breath apart from hers, and whispered, "Forever," before claiming them in a slow, passionate kiss as his hard shaft slipped into her. Lucy sighed as she felt her husband fill her body and she moved her legs up to bring him deeper inside her. Once deepest contact was made, they began a slow rhythm, each inch they moved bringing them both maximum pleasure. Soon, the moans of both were lost in a passionate kiss as they began to climax together. With one last thrust, Ricky came inside Lucy as she collapsed back on the bed. As their breathing slowed, Ricky held Lucy close, rubbing her bare back. "Eres todo para mi. Tu y el bebe. Te prometo que siempre estare a tu lado."


	2. The Beginning of the End

**_Author's Note: A HUGE thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed, & shared chapter 1 of IAMOM. That chapter served as a prologue for "the rest of the story." (Sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm a major Paul Harvey fan!) Chapter 2 begins 10 weeks after chapter 1._**

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Lucy woke up on a bright Saturday morning feeling... off. At 18 weeks, she hadn't been bothered with morning sickness or fatigue in weeks and 2 days ago, she'd even felt the baby kick for the first time. Feeling that movement made things feel so much more real, and that things were going to be ok. Today however, her back was killing her and she felt like she hadn't slept in a month. She looked at the clock, 7:15. Ricky would be asleep for another 3 hours at the least so Lucy decided to curl back up in her husband's embrace and go back to sleep. If worse came to worse, she could always pull the "pregnant wife card" and send him down town to get something to eat.

Ricky awoke to the sound of his alarm at 11 surprised to find his wife curled up beside him. Not sure if something was wrong or if she just wanted some extra time with him, he woke her by kissing her softly as he rubbed her stomach over her night gown. "Lucy... Are you alright?"

Lucy's blue eyes fluttered open and met those of her husband as they kissed. "Yes," she assured him. "I just decided to get some extra sleep this morning. I've probably been overdoing it a bit."

Ricky looked at his wife, not quite convinced. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Ricky." she tried to hide her lack of assurance in her statement with an irritated tone. "Besides," she continued sweetly, "Are you complaining about me staying in bed with you?"

Ricky chuckled, "Of course not" as he leaned in to kiss her again.

"I am still tired, though. Would you mind getting breakfast downtown this morning?" Lucy asked feeling guilty for dodging her wifely duties.

"Not at all, you just rest and take care of the baby," Ricky replied, ever understanding of his wife's condition.

For the first time in their marriage, Lucy was almost relieved when Ricky left to head downtown. Now she didn't have to hide how she was feeling or the worry behind it. "Maybe if I just put my feet up and try to relax, I'll feel better," Lucy thought.

For a while, it seemed to work, until suddenly a pain shot through Lucy's stomach as if she'd been hit with a fist at full force. As Lucy doubled over in pain she was convinced that something was horribly wrong and she needed help. Fast. Gathering every bit of strength she had, Lucy managed her way over to the phone to dial Fred and Ethel's number.

"Hello?"

"Ethel," Lucy gasped between the pains. "Can you come up here right away?"

"Lucy?! What's wrong? Are you ok?" Ethel panicked.

"No...I'm not...please...come quick..."

As Lucy made her way back to the couch to lie down, Ethel ran in. "Lucy, what's wrong?"

"Ethel... the baby..." Lucy gasped, uttering her greatest fear.

"Oh, God. I heard Mrs. Mattson's record player on next door. That means she's home. Let me go see if we can borrow her car to get you to the hospital, that way we don't need to wait for the cab."

"Ok..." Lucy said tearfully.

Ethel ran out of the apartment only to return moments later with Ann Mattson. "I'm going to call Ricky at the club and have him meet us at the hospital. You help get her up and downstairs," she spoke to the younger brunette.

"Hello, Tropicana."

"This is Ethel Mertz. I need to speak to Ricky Ricardo. It's an emergency."

"Yes, ma'am. One moment please," the man on the other end of the phone replied.

"Ricky... you have a phone call!" The man hollered above the music.

"Take five boys," Ricky told the band and walked over to the phone. "This is Ricky," he replied, not knowing who was on the other end of the line.

"Ricky!" Ethel yelled frantically.

"Ethel? Calm down. What's wrong? Is it Lucy?"

"Yes! We don't know what's wrong. She's in a lot of pain and she thinks something might be wrong with the baby. We're going to the hospital now, meet us there as soon as you can."

"I'm on my way!" Ricky slammed down the phone.

Ricky was nearly out the door of the club before he realized he better tell the boys where he was going,so he turned around and walked back into the ballroom where the boys were taking advantage of his boss's phone call.

"Atención!" Ricky yelled as everyone looked toward him. "Practice is over for today." As the band members looked at each other in confusion, wondering why Ricky would let them leave almost as soon as they got there, Ricky continued. "I gotta get outta here. My neighbor just called. Lucy's bein' taken to the hospital. I dun't know what's wrong, but she needs me."

A stunned silence fell over the guys until Marco Rizo, Ricky's best friend and right hand man, spoke up, "You want me to go with you, Jefe?" he asked using the more personal term for what everyone in the band called him.

"No, I'm fine," Ricky responded to his friend.

"You sure?" Marco didn't want to intrude on a very personal time, but he didn't like the look on his boss and friend's face either.

"Ya, I'm sure. You boys go on home. Spend some time with your wives," Ricky swallowed his last statement as he ran out of the club to his own.

* * *

As soon as Ricky got out of the doors of the Tropicana, he broke out into a run as he headed for the subway. People (namely Lucy) had often marveled at how fast he was able to beat a rhythm on his conga drum, but that was nothing compared to the speed at which Ricky's feet, heart, or thoughts were moving at the moment. Between the swift movement of his feet and the literally dizzying pace of his thoughts, Ricky had to be careful that he didn't trip, much less run into someone. Even in the tornado ofhis thoughts, however, he thought how ironic it was that, compared to his own movements, the otherwise busy pace of the New Yorkers around him seemed to be more like that of a snail.

Ricky had never been happier to reach the subway station. It not only brought him one leg of his trip closer to his wife, but it also gave his body a much needed rest. However, he soon realized it also had a downside in that now he was more in tune to his thoughts. What was wrong? Was Lucy ok? What about the baby? Was she losing another one of their children? His mind went back to how terrified he was during her first miscarriage. At that time it had never crossed either of their minds that the pregnancy would end with anything but a beautiful, healthy baby. That was not to be. Surely, it wasn't possible for this to happen to them again.

Based on Ethel's terrified voice, this sounded worse. Oh God... worse? Ricky had to tap his feet to keep his knees from buckling under him as they grew weak and his entire body began to shake. This wasn't a good shake, though. Nothing like how he shook when he was deep inside his wife, looking down at her bright blue eyes. This was a shake of pure fear.

Trying to look at something, anything, that would distract him for even a second, Ricky looked up and happened to catch his reflection in the subway window which scared him even more. He didn't recognize himself. His hair was askew from running, his eyes were hollow, and his skin that felt as hot as fire was surprisingly pale. He looked like a madman. If he didn't get arrested for suspicious behavior, it would truly be a miracle. It was then that Ricky realized that he had to calm down, at least by appearances. Whatever was wrong, Lucy needed him to be strong and he knew that she'd fall apart if she saw him now.


	3. Uncertainty

Ethel and Anna Mattson managed to get Lucy, who was screaming in pain, into the hospital, but she was growing weaker by the moment. Luckily, her screams alerted a nurse of their entrance immediately and they were quickly brought a wheelchair, into which Lucy slumped weakly from pain, fear, and loss of blood.

"She's 18 weeks pregnant and is bleeding," Ethel barely managed to get out before Lucy was whisked away, leaving her two friends worried and dumbfounded.

In the exam room, Lucy writhed in pain as she awaited the doctor's arrival. Thankfully, it wasn't long before Dr. Harris rushed in, shocked to see his patient in such a condition.

"Dr. Harris... Help... me!" Lucy gasped through her pain.

"Well, let's take a look to see what's going on here," Dr. Harris said trying to calm Lucy.

Dr. Harris removed Lucy's blood soaked panties, lifted up her dress, and began examining her, letting out a heavy sigh as his worst suspicions were confirmed.

"Mrs. Ricardo," he began calmly, not wanting to cause her any more pain. "I think I've discovered the source of your pain and bleeding. It appears you're going into preterm labor."

At the word "labor" immediately snapped Lucy out of her pain induced haze. "Labor?! Now?!"

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Ricardo, we're going to need to get you to surgery right away," Dr. Harris explained, but before he could finish, the physical and emotional shock of the situation became too much for Lucy. Her blood pressure dropped, she started to shake, and then passed out.

"Surgery, stat!" Dr. Harris barked at the nurse next to him as they transferred her to a hospital bed and whisked her away.

By the time they'd gotten to surgery, Lucy had regained consciousness, although she was still bleeding heavily. Now awake, she began to scream, "NO! My baby! ...PLEASE! Not my baby!" Even she wasn't sure if she was yelling at the doctor or at God.

Dr. Harris did the best he could to comfort his patient, though likey realizing his attempts would be futile, "It's ok, Mrs. Ricardo. I'm going to give you something and you'll be asleep soon. When you wake up, it'll all be over."

Lucy grabbed the doctor's wrist to stop him from touching her again. He leaned over her, calm but firm in his tone. "Lucy," he began, thinking he might reach her better talking to her on a more personal level, "I need you to listen to me. If you don't allow me to do what I need to do, I won't be able to help either one of you. While I fear your baby can't be saved, I'll still be able to save you...but only if I hurry. Every moment you bleed, your condition becomes more precarious. I'm not going to patronize you by even trying to pretend that I know what you're going through, but you have to force yourself to calm down. Every moment spent calming you is one that ticks by that I could be working to save your life. If we waste too much time, it'll be too late. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

She blinked her eyes, sudden clarity of mind taking over. She was losing her baby, that was it. She might even be losing herself, but even in the midst of her own physical and emotional pain, her thoughts drifted to Ricky. Her other half. The man that had created this life inside of her, as well as the life they'd lost two years before. She knew Ethel had called him before they left, so he would certainly be there by now and the knowledge that he was even in the same building gave her great comfort, but her heart still ached for his own distress. Had he made the journey to the hospital alone, with only his, undoubtedly dark, thoughts to accompany him? Had Marco or someone else from the band gone with him? Now that he was finally here, did he know that their baby wouldn't live? Did he know how tired and weak she was, how much she was bleeding? Did they break it to him that she might die, or were they waiting to find out for sure? Had they told him ANYTHING? Was he sitting with Ethel and Mrs. Mattson or was he alone? If she died, how would he move on? He had told her during his proposal 6 years earlier, and several times sense, that he couldn't live without her and now the reality of that statement scared her to death. As much as she didn't want to leave him, the thought that he might harm himself if she had to made her blood run cold.

Even as the pain spiked through her abdomen and the warmth of her own blood moistened her thighs, she sought to deny what was happening. This was a nightmare. Surely this had to be a horrible nightmare created by her fears of losing yet another child after the loss of their first. She would wake up and find herself safe in her own bed, her husband's strong arms wrapped protectively around their baby as he whispered words of love and comfort in Spanish into her ear just as he did when her worries surfaced on the afternoon that she told him that she was pregnant again after the loss of their first child. The noise of the operating room, the awful smell of disinfectants that nauseated her, and the shouts of the nurses would fade into the familiar sounds of traffic outside her bedroom window.

Her momentary silence created by her panicked thoughts allowed Dr. Harris to prepare himself for his task while a nurse came to her side, putting a mask over her face. Feeling the gas starting to overcome her, she shook her head, fighting the sleep that made her eyelids fall heavily over her eyes. No one heard the whispers that left her lips as the darkness of induced sleep grabbed her. "Not my baby, please don't take my baby…"


	4. News, Thoughts, & Plans

**_Author's Note: Thank you again to everyone who's been following this story! I think this is my favorite chapter because it incorporates Ricky's (and Desi's) friend and piano player Marco. Thanks to 4luv4evr428's use of his character in her stories, I've really come to love Marco, even in his small role. Enjoy!_**

* * *

Ricky arrived in the emergency room waiting room, immediately scanned the room for Ethel and found her with their neighbor, Mrs. Mattson. Both women looked stricken and Ethel's eyes were red from crying.

"Ethel! Wha' happen'd? Where's Lucy?" Ricky gasped in both fear and exhaustion.

"I... I don't know... About a half hour after you left for work, I was just about to come up to see her when she called asking me to come up right away. When I got there she was doubled over on the couch in pain. I knew Mrs. Mattson was home so we asked to borrow her car and got her here as fast as we could. We didn't wan't to wait for a cab or... ambulance," she gulped the last word. "By the time we got here, she'd started bleeding. They took her back right away, but won't tell us anything since we aren't family..."

"Ethel," Ricky laid a hand gently, but firmly, on her shoulder and looked straight at her knowing that she needed whatever strength he could give her at the moment. "I dun't care what the doctor said. You're family. You have been since the day we moved in, and you always will be. You're more than Lucy's best friend, you're the sister she always wanted."

Ethel smiled, overwhelmed at his words, "Thank you."

"I can't tell you how much I 'preciate everythin' you've both done for Lucy t'day. Thank you for lettin' 'em take your car. I know you need to get home for your boys," he addressed the younger woman.

"Of course, it was the least I could do..." replied Mrs. Mattson, feeling that her words were extremely insufficient for the situation.

"There's nuthin' more for you to do here, why dun't you both go home?" Ricky excused them.

Ethel and Anna exchanged a look, not wanting to leave, but not wanting to be a burden either. "Ok," they both replied.

Ricky stepped forward to embrace Ethel tightly and kiss her cheek before turning to find the doctor. Thankfully, his search was over practically as it started as Dr. Harris spotted Ricky before he was seen.

"Mr. Ricardo!" "Dr. Harris!" The men spoke simultaneously.

"What's goin' on? Ethel called and told me to come right down..."

"Come with me," the doctor interrupted. "We'll go somewhere private and I'll tell you everything I know." Dr. Harris put a hand on Ricky's shoulder as they walked to the private waiting room in an effort to comfort him.

"Please sit," Dr. Harris pointed to a sofa as they walked into the small room and he closed the door behind him.

"Mr. Ricardo...," the doctor began as he pulled up a chair to sit at eye level across from Ricky. "Your wife has gone into labor."

Ricky's head swam as he was more confused as he had been when he first heard the word "miscarriage" over two years ago. "What? How? It's too soon!" Ricky practically yelled as if to say that what the doctor was suggesting was the stupidest idea he'd ever heard.

"I agree," Dr. Harris said in a tone to attempt to calm Ricky. "I honestly have no idea what brought this on. She was fine a week ago when I examined her."

"What happens now? Will she be ok? The baby can't live... can it?" Ricky's mind was reeling with this new information even more than it had when he had time to think of the endless possibilities of what was going on.

"You're right," Dr. Harris said seriously. "The baby will be stillborn. There will be no heart beat and it won't be breathing. It'll be... dead..." Even Dr. Harris blanched at the bluntness of his words. He would never dream of being this blunt in most situations, but considering English was not Ricky's first language, he thought it best to make sure he knew exactly what was happening.

"Aye, Dios, no!" Ricky groaned mournfully, "But Lucy will be fine, though, right? Can we try for more children?" Ricky continued firing panicked questions at the doctor simultaneously needing and dreading the information that was coming.

"Mr. Ricardo...," Dr. Harris paused to place a hand back on Ricky's shoulder, "When Lucy came in she was bleeding quite heavily and went into shock. We're doing everything we can, but… I need to tell you that there is a very real chance that she won't make it."

Ricky looked as if he was going to gasp, but it was physically impossible. His lungs were momentarily paralyzed. Suddenly Ricky went from ashen white to sea green. Dr. Harris, thankfully, moved quickly and he grabbed the trash can from the corner of the room and put it in front of Ricky as he crumpled to the floor and vomited. Knowing that Ricky was incapable of standing, Dr. Harris decided to stoop down next to him.

"Mr. Ricardo... Ricky..." Dr. Harris began, thinking that using the "man to man" approach would probably be more effective at this point than one of doctor/family member. "I promise. We are doing everything we can. I need to get back to her, but you have my word as a doctor, a man, and a father that I will give you more information as soon as I have something more to tell you."

Ricky looked up at the doctor and, in massive irony as a singer, tried to find his voice. "Thank you, doctor..."

Dr. Harris slapped Ricky on the back. "Do you need anything? Coffee? Water?"

Ricky just shook his head sadly. "I need my wife..."

"Well then," the doctor replied, "I'll do everything in my power to give her back to you."

As soon as Dr. Harris left, Ricky vomited again. He just couldn't think about living without Lucy. She was his heart, his world. She was the one who single handedly made him feel like America was his home. Lucy was his home. It was almost as if her soul had called out to his to come find her when he was still in Cuba. He had come to America wanting "more", but he had no idea just how much he'd find here... in Lucy. Without her, he'd be lost. Empty. Without her, he'd have no desire to play music again. What would be the point? His number one fan and supporter wouldn't be there to listen to it, and there would be no happiness left in his life to put any song on his lips, much less in his heart. If his hips couldn't dance for Lucy in the amorous way they had since their wedding night, he didn't want to dance in shows either. No one would be waiting at home, even asleep, when he arrived in the early morning hours. No one worth sacrificing sleep over, making love to her after coming home in the early morning hours completely exhausted. There could be no one in the world who meant more to him, and if he couldn't touch her or make love to her or see her every single day, he might as well be dead, too. It's not that he didn't want to live without her, he couldn't. If Lucy didn't survive the night, he knew it would be only a matter of hours at most before he, too, died... either from a broken heart, or by his own hand. Both of his children were gone, so there would be no one left behind to live for or to feel guilty over leaving. He could join Lucy in eternity.

He thought back to the day they canceled the plans they'd made and instead rushed off to get married privately and how happy they had been. All of their dreams and hopes were wrapped up in the vows they spoke and the rings they wore. He never would've believed then that just a few short years later, "until death do us part" would be looming over their heads. He couldn't even remember what he'd been like before he became Lucy's husband. He wanted to be a father and could survive the loss of yet another child because he knew he had to be there for Lucy, but he couldn't survive without Lucy.

Ricky shook his head, trying to knock the thought of losing her from his mind. That WOULD NOT happen. They would be together always and grow old in each other's arms. That was the promise they made to each other that sunny, warm day in Connecticut…and they never broke promises to each other.

With that in mind, the problem now became how would he face Lucy? He didn't blame her or feel her less of a woman, but he already knew that the grief on his wife's face would hurt him far more than his own. His mind went back to when he was finally able to see her after her first miscarriage and the grief that was etched on her beautiful face. Surely it had been traumatic for both of them, but Ricky could only imagine how much more severe the pain would be for both of them this time... and those images scared him. What was worse is that there was nothing he could do. No amount of reassuring words, caresses, or kisses would erase her pain. A piece of Lucy's soul was killed with the death of their child just as it had been with their first, and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. Over the years, he'd been able to protect her and sooth her pain from an encounter with Tom Henderson and even his own anger... but this time he was, for the most part, completely helpless. Lost in his feelings of helplessness and grief, Ricky finally began to sob... for his children, for his wife, and for himself.

Still, facing her, their, grief would be better than facing life without her. Yes. He needed to keep that focus, for both their sakes. Lucy would be beyond devestated, but she'd eventually be fine. She had to be. She'd be fine and they'd have more children. Or, she'd be fine and they wouldn't. It didn't really matter right now, as long as Lucy was fine.

Still kneeling over the garbage can on the floor, Ricky closed his eyes and put his hands over his face and began to pray desperately, "Aye, Dios, por favor, salvar la vida de ella. Yo daria mi vida por la de ella en un latido de mi corazon. Pero por favor, deje que se quede conmigo."

Taking shaky breath, Ricky struggled to his feet. In order to take care of Lucy properly, some plans needed to be arranged and he might as well make them now while the doctors were taking care of Lucy, because he wouldn't leave her side once he had the ability to see her.

Ricky walked out of the private waiting room over to the nurse's station. The woman sitting there looked up at him, "Is there something I can do for you, sir?"

Ricky looked down at the nurse sitting in front of him and replied, "Yes. I need to make some phone calls. Is there a phone somewhere that I can borrow?"

"You can use that one right there," the nurse pointed to the phone on the counter. "I'll move over to the other side of the station to give you some privacy."

"Muchas gracias," he replied and immediately wondered if the nurse knew what he'd said. Unfortunately, he wasn't in the mindset to care at the moment.

Ricky's first call was to Mr. Abbott, the owner of the Tropicana. "Hello, Tropicana," the man at the desk answered.

"This is Ricky Ricardo, I need to talk to Mr. Abbott immediately," Ricky stated in the calmest voice he could muster.

"Right away, Mr. Ricardo."

Shortly, a voice came over the line. "Ricky, what can I do for you? I heard about your wife. Is she ok?"

"Actually sir, that's why I'm callin'," Ricky began, the emotion of the day starting to return to his voice in spite of his efforts to remain professional. "Lucy is in the hospital. She's... losin' the baby. I haven't been able to see her yet, but I know I'm gunna need some time off. I'd like a month to stay home with her."

"Oh Ricky," Mr. Abbott, who was a kind, but not overly friendly man, sounded genuinely concerned for both of the Ricardos. "I can definitely understand you wanting to be with her, but what should we do about the shows?"

"I already thought about that. I haven't called 'im yet, but I'm gunna have Marco run 'em. I'm sure he can find another piano player. In fact, my wife's best friend is pretty talented and I'm sure she'd help if we needed her to."

"Well, Ricky, it sounds like you have everything figured out. If it's ok with Marco, then it's ok with me. Just have Marco call me later."

"Will do Mr. Abbott. Muchas gracias."

"Don't mention it, Ricky. I hope Lucy makes a speedy recovery," Mr. Abbot said, not realizing his well wish actually rekindled Ricky's fears."

"Yeah. me, too," Ricky said as he swallowed the lump in his throat and hung up.

The next phone call that needed to be made was to Marco. In two rings, someone said, "Hola, Rizo residence."

"Hola, Raquel," Ricky spoke to Marco's wife. "Is Marco home?"

"He is," she replied, "although I'd gladly have him at work if it meant your wife was ok. How is Lucy doing?"

"I really don't know Raquel, they aren't tellin' me much right now."

"Well, I hope she feels better soon, here's Marco," she said, handing the phone to her husband.

"Hola, Boss. What can I do for you? How's Lucy?" Ricky's band mate and friend said, trying to sound cheerful.

"She's not good I'm afraid, amigo. She's... she's losin' the baby..." Ricky's voice broke, not ashamed that his friend heard the despair in his voice.

"Oh no..." Marco groaned. He and Raquel were newlyweds and hadn't been blessed with children yet, but it was something they both wanted and he couldn't even imagine having one taken one from them.

"Marco, I need your help. I'm gunna need to take some time off. I wanna stay home with Lucy for a month. I've already talked to Mr. Abbott and he's ok with it if I can figure out what to do about the shows. I told him that you'd run 'em and then just find someone to replace you on the piano. Our friend Ethel plays so I'm sure she'd do it if you couldn't find someone else on such short notice. Can ya do that for me?"

"Uh... sure Jefe!" Marco stumbled, completely in awe that Ricky would trust him to run things.

"Thanks, Marco. Just call Mr. Abbott and let 'im know what's goin' on. I better get off the phone. I'm hopin' they'll have news for me soon."

"No problem, Ricky. Call us if you need anything else."

"Gracias amigo," he replied gratefully as he hung up.

Having accomplished everything he needed to, there was nothing for Ricky to do other than return to the private waiting room and await the doctor, alone with his thoughts.


	5. Mami's Niña

Dr. Harris worked fervently on his patient. He desperately ordered his nurses and assistants to hand him instruments and continue getting blood back into her body from what seemed like an endless number of containers that he had brought into the operating room

Looking into the incision he had made, he had the fleeting hope that maybe he could do something for this baby, against what he knew of his mortal limitations. His hopes were dashed as soon as he lifted the lifeless little body from Lucy's abdomen. His instinct from the many years he'd spent delivering babies drew him to look at the baby's gender. Gently parting the child's legs as to not break the tiny bones, he was sorry he had and his mind flew to the three little girls of his own.

Knowing he had more work ahead, he turned to a nurse who waited at his side, holding a blanket out to him, ready to receive the tiny life lost. "Bring her downstairs and tell them to treat her kindly," Dr. Harris sighed defeatedly from beneath the fabric that guarded his mouth.

He turned back to his patient, desperate to save one life today. The cause of this horrible event was not apparent to him at first look, but his more pressing concern was controlling the loss of blood and stabilizing her. He worked feverishly to repair her wounds, calling out to his nurses to tell him her blood pressure. Relief crossed his face as the numbers were consistently within a normal range. As her heart rate slowed from its dangerous race, the doctor stopped holding his breath.

He turned his hopes toward preserving the delicate organs that would allow him to deliver this woman a healthy baby someday…at least, that's what he prayed would happen.

* * *

After the surgery, Lucy was taken to a recovery room, alone except for a nurse keeping watch from a corner. The doctor had had no choice but to deliver her under-developed baby; it was either that, or lose them both. Still, she very nearly did not come out of the room alive, and large amounts of donated blood were necessary to replace what she had lost in her body's attempt to expel her child.

For a few moments, Dr. Harris walked into the recovery room after having agrily tossed his blood stained scrub uniform into the trash. He looked at Lucy as the nurse walked over to him. "Any additional orders, doctor?"

Dr. Harris shook his head, tired. "No, just keep her calm. As long as her vital signs remain stable, she can be moved upstairs in about an hour. I'm going to go talk to her husband."

As he turned to leave, the nurse called out to him. "And the little girl?"

The doctor faced her again with a resigned face. "She never had a chance. I had her sent to the morgue."

Dr. Harris left the room, steeling himself for the next challenge of dealing with Ricky.

A few moments later, Lucy woke up, immediately knowing something was different. "Ricky... my baby... my baby... Ricky..."

The nurse rushed over to her and began trying to comfort her. "It's ok, Mrs. Ricardo. You're going to be fine. It's over now."

Something in Lucy snapped. She was tired of people telling her how it was going to be or that it was over. She didn't want to be patronized. It was enough that the emptiness of her womb was as glaring to her as the morning sickness which had initially alerted her to her pregnancy. "It's not over! I want to see my baby!"

The nurse looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Ricardo. She didn't make it."

Lucy felt as if a knife had been plunged into her heart as she learned the fate and the gender of their baby in the same moment and her eyes filled with tears again. "I don't care! I want to hold her!"

"Now, Mrs. Ricardo, if you don't calm down, I'm going to have to sedate you," the nurse dismissed.

Lucy was hot with anger. The blood running through her veins at this moment may not have started out as hers, but her heart pumped it full of her emotional experience as surely as it pumped oxygen. Who was this woman? Had she ever lost her baby…twice? Where was Ricky? She could picture him, pacing and tapping his fingers nervously on any surface he came across. They were probably telling him nothing! When they created this baby, their bodies were connected and their eyes were locked. Now that they were losing it, they were parted by cold white walls and hospital policy.

"I WANT MY BABY! GIVE ME MY LITTLE GIRL!" Lucy screamed as loudly as she could, hoping that maybe Ricky would be able to hear her from wherever he was and demand that she be able to say goodbye to their daughter. "RICKY WOULD NEVER LET YOU KEEP HER FROM ME!"

The nurse added medication to the IV drip that was pierced into Lucy's arm. "My niña... please... not my niña..." Darkness tightened its grasp as she continued to cry for her daughter.


	6. Papi's Niña

**_Author's Note: Thanks to kehwie who, after a conversation last week, gave me the inspiration to name the nurse in this chapter and elaborate on her character a little bit. This chapter is dedicated to all the wonderful nurses who cared for my grandmother in her final months. I should specify that the nurse in this chapter is not the same nurse from chapter 5 (who I've coined "***chy nurse" lol). A HUGE thank you to everyone who's read, favorited, followed, shared, and reviewed my very first fan fiction!_**

* * *

Ricky had been pacing the private waiting room for hours and still knew absolutely nothing of his wife's condition... or fate. He'd thought about every possible scenario, and his mind was now numb and void of thought. He was snapped from his daze when he heard a knock on the door and saw it open with, a now extremely haggard, Dr. Harris on the other side. Seeing the doctor, who normally looked so composed and professional, in such a state terrified him further. He nearly vomited again when he saw a few small spatters of blood, his wife's blood no doubt, on his shoes.

"Dr. Harris!" Ricky exclaimed, eager for an update on his beloved wife. "How's Lucy? Is she...?" He couldn't bare to finish his thought.

"Mr. Ricardo, your wife will be fine. She's been through a lot emotionally as well as physically and needs to rest, but she'll make a complete recovery."

Ricky let out a sigh of relief. "Can I see her?" he begged the doctor.

"You can shortly, we're moving her to room 811. She woke up quite upset after surgery so we needed to sedate her again to prevent her from hurting herself." Dr. Harris stopped, seeing the concern on Ricky's face. "Don't be alarmed, Mr. Ricardo. Sleeping is the best thing she could be doing right now. But you're more than welcome to sit with her while she sleeps. I'm sure that would be of great comfort to her, even in her current state."

Ricky's eyes began to swim with tears of relief that the love of his life was going to be alright as he extended his hand. "Thank you, Doctor Harris... for saving my wife's life," Ricky choked.

"It's my pleasure, Mr. Ricardo," Dr. Harris said sincerely. "I only wish that I could have saved the life of your daughter."

"It... was... a girl?" Ricky managed to utter. He had always envisioned both of his children being girls, but he didn't think he would be told the gender... and he almost wished he hadn't. He backed up slowly, the information hitting him like a ton of bricks. The backs of his legs bumped up against a chair and he lowered himself into it slowly. Like a record being played at high speed, a million and one thoughts raced through his mind. He looked back up at the doctor, devastated.

Dr. Harris just nodded his head silently, turned, and left.

Ricky slumped in the chair. Did Lucy know this information? His heart broke anew at the thought of having to tell her. He was fine not knowing himself, but now that he did, there was no way he could (or would) keep that information from her... No matter how much it hurt them both, she deserved to know. He stared at the white wall and an image flashed before his eyes. It was the image of a beautiful little girl with his dark hair and Lucy's sapphire blue eyes. She would've been clever and sweet, like her mother. Maybe she would've been talented, like him. She, no doubt, would have had him wrapped around her finger from day one... He already was. The grief he felt over her death proved that. Whatever else she would've been, she was theirs... she always would be. The only thing he knew for certain was that now, she was with her big brother or sister…and she was happy and safe.

He put a hand over his eyes. "Dios, mis hijos estan contigo…"

* * *

Moments after Ricky arrived in her room, Lucy was wheeled in, still sound asleep. Ricky nearly gasped at the sight of his wife. How different she looked from when she slept at home. Her already ivory skin was ghostly white, the natural blush of her cheeks gone. If he didn't know better, Ricky would have thought she was dead... A thought that brought hot bile to his throat. Her goreous red hair that Ricky loved so much fell in haphazard curls on the pillow, mussed from the struggle of her ordeal. Even it somehow looked dull and listless. Her lips were pale and twisted into a fitful scowl. He thought to himself that even in sleep, her pain was clear.

"Excuse me, Miss...," Ricky caught the nurse's attention before she turned to leave.

The kind nurse who looked young enough to be just out of nursing school smiled at him, "My name's Betty."

Ricky smiled for the first time since he left home this morning, extremely thankful for her kind disposition, "Betty, I know the hospital has rules, but my wife's been through a lot today. Do ya think it would be possible for me to stay with her tonight? I... I can't bare the thought of leavin' her..."

"I think something can be arranged, let me see what I can do," the nurse gave Ricky a sympathetic smile before leaving.

Ricky turned back to his wife and sat by her left side, his right arm curved around her head stroking her cheek as he spoke to her, hoping his words would comfort his grieving wife from wherever her mind had slipped off to in an attempt to excape her grief. "Estoy aqui contigo ahora. Estamos juntos. Yo no voy a dejar."

After a couple hours, as Ricky's hushed devotions of love continued, Lucy began to stir.

"Lucy... come on, baby... wake up for me... I'm here now. It's safe for you to wake up." He lovingly encouraged.

Suddenly Lucy's eyes snapped open and she attempted to bolt up. "RICKY! RICKY!" she screamed, in her fear not seeing him beside her.

"I'm here, Lucy. I'm right here. I'm not leavin' you." Ricky soothed.

"Oh Ricky... my baby... our baby...," Lucy sobbed as Ricky tenderly held his wife.

"I know... I know...," he attempted to console her.

"Ricky, they wouldn't let me hold my baby! I woke up and she was gone. They took our little girl! Our Rosita Maria!" she choked between sobs using the name that she and Ricky had decided they'd use if they had a girl on the very day she found out she was pregnant.

Ricky's blood instantly ran hot. They had told her about her daughter and denied her the baby in the same breath? "They what...?! You didn't even get to..." Ricky was so furious that he couldn't even finish a complete sentence, at least in English. "Que clase de monstrous es esto? Mirar lo que una cosa que estas personas han hecho!"

Hearing Ricky's outburst, Betty rushed back into the room, "Mr. Ricardo, what's wrong?"

"Betty, please, can you stay with Lucy for a few minutes... I need to have a word with the doctor."

"Yes, of course, Mr. Ricardo. I'll sit with her for as long as you need me to. I'll make sure she's not left alone," Betty assured him.

After thanking Betty, Ricky turned to Lucy, kissed her firmly, and told her that he loved her and would be back as soon as he could, before flying out the door.

After a glace up and down the hall, Ricky marched up to Dr. Harris who was glancing at another patient's chart. "I want answers!" He fumed.

"Mr. Ricardo, I know you've been through a lot, but I need to ask you to keep your voice down. Now what questions do you have for me?"

Ricky couldn't believe the doctor's audacity, or at least that's the way he saw it. "I've been through a lot? What about my wife?"

"I'm not following, Mr. Ricardo."

"My wife just woke up screaming and said that you wouldn't let her hold our daughter. She woke up after surgery and she was gone!"

"Mr. Ricardo…" Dr. Harris tried in vain to calm Ricky. "The baby was already dead. She didn't even take a breath."

Ricky just glared at the doctor, too angry for even one of his classic Spanish outbursts. It was everything he could do not to punch this cold hearted jerk in the nose.

"Ricky," Dr. Harris decided to try a different approach. "The baby was extremely small. You could see the veins through her skin. She didn't look like a normal baby. Your wife was in a very delicate mental state. Seeing the baby would have only traumatized her more. Don't you think she's suffered enough today?"

Ricky's head started to ache and he felt as though he were on another planet, where no one but he and Lucy cared less about anything. "And what about me, doctor?" Ricky opened his mouth and out flooded every emotion that had stung his heart since learning his baby had been a girl, words and feelings that he would never ever say to Lucy, words and feelings that would've been locked in his heart until he was in the grave had it not been for this doctor. "What about MY mental state? This baby who din't look normal IS my daughter. Do you have any idea what this does to ME? I will never hold my little girl. I'll never hear her singin' or playin'. I'll never see her dancin' in little dresses. I'll never have a tea party with her. I'll never get to protect her, or worry about her, or tell her that she's beautiful like her mama. She'll never be a bride on my arm or give me grandchildren. The last bedtime story I told her was last night before Lucy and I went to sleep... and SHE WILL NEVER CALL ME PAPI!" The words left him nauseous. "My niña is gone and you separated me from my wife for hours."

"Mr. Ricardo…" Dr. Harris put a hand over his forehead. Nothing he could say would be an adequate response to Ricky's justified tirade. "There was nothing I could do. This is the way things are done. I'm not saying I agree with it, because I don't, but I can't go against hospital policy."

Ricky couldn't take it anymore. He was getting nowhere with Dr. Harris. He was just wasting precious time that he could be with Lucy, so he turned away, muttering angrily. "Este hombre piensa que nade hasta aqui desde Cuba ayer. Lo estupido se cree que soy? 'Hospital policy…'"

Thankfully, Ricky was able to force himself calm by the time he entered Lucy's room, trying to keep in mind that the man had saved her life. He further calmed when he saw Lucy finally sleeping peacefully, Betty fixing her hair.

Ricky softened at the sight. "Thank you, Betty…that's very nice of you, she'd 'preciate it.

The nurse smiled, "She has very beautiful hair. Is it really this red?"

"Let's just say the color is very Lucy," he laughed softly, knowing that she'd be miffed at him for giving away the secret to her vivid hair.

"Is everything ok now?" Betty asked concerned.

Ricky sighed, "Let's just say Dr. Harris and I had a disagreement about hospital policy.

Betty gave him a look of understanding. "I understand that more than you realize," she replied as she stood allowing him to move near Lucy.

Ricky nodded, grateful for her compassion.

"If you need anything else, I'll be down the hall. I'm here all night. I wish you and your wife the best. I can see how much you mean to each other. You deserve all the happiness in the world," Betty said before leaving.

Ricky was nearly speechless at Betty's words. Finally, he managed to choke an emotional "Thank you."

Once Ricky was alone with Lucy, he resumed his spot by her head and kissed her forehead gently as he continued stroking her cheek and whispering to her. "Mi querida, te amo mucho. Estamos juntos." Not waking, but sensing his presence, Lucy fumbled for his left hand in sleep. Realizing her intentions, he put her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze and rubbing his thumb over her wedding and engagement rings as she slept.

Lucy continued to sleep and Ricky was beyond exhausted himself, but Ricky insisted on keeping vigil over her, knowing his words and touch would would make her feel safe and loved. "Pense que no ibas a venir de nuevo a mi. No me dejes nunca. Mi corazon se derrumbaria y morir."

Suddenly, Ricky noticed Lucy's eyelashes flutter as she turned her head towards him. "Ricky..." she whispered.

"I'm here, baby. How are you feeling?" Ricky asked his wife concerned.

"Like I just had our child ripped from my stomach..." she stated mournfully, her hand resting over her abdomen.

"Oh, Lucy..." He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead again. "I know..."

Now safe in her husband's embrace, Lucy felt every emotion of the day surface as she burst into tears. Ricky rubbed her back as her body was wracked with sobs. He tried as hard as he could to be strong for her, but soon he felt himself succumbing to his own sobs once again. Not knowing what else to do, husband and wife cried together as they mourned the death of their little girl.

When their tears finally stopped, Ricky was the one to speak first. Remembering how guilty she felt after their first miscarriage, he wanted to make sure he did everything he could to refute those feelings. Lucy had a long road of healing ahead of her, both physically and emotionally, and that was something she didn't need to deal with. "Lucy, I love you so much. I want you to believe me when I say this was not your fault."

Lucy looked at her husband for a moment before replying, "I know, Ricky. As much as I want to have someone to blame, even if it's myself, I know it wasn't. I'd just been to the doctor and everything was fine then and I didn't do anything crazy in the past few days."

Ricky smiled at his wife, relieved that she believed him. "I'm gonna take some time off from work..."

"Ricky, you don't have...," Lucy began to interrupt.

In response to her interruption, Ricky kissed her softly. "Hush. I want to. I've already called Mr. Abbott and made arrangements with Marco. I'm stayin' with you for a whole month."

Lucy's eyes widened in happiness for the first time that day, "Oh, Ricky! Thank you!"

Ricky kissed her again. "No need to thank me. I love you."

"I love you, too, Ricky." she deepened the kiss ever so slightly, thankful that she had such a wonderful man for a husband... their children would have been so blessed to have Ricky as a father, she just hoped he'd have that chance again. When the kiss ended, Lucy looked up and pleaded with him, "Sleep beside me tonight, Ricky…please?" The look in her bright blue eyes, the same eyes he envisioned Rosita Maria to have, was like that of a small child asking her father for a puppy. Ricky's heart skipped a beat, thinking that his baby girl would never be able to twist him around her little finger that way. If there was a way to bring her back, he'd give her the world. His thoughts returned immediately to Lucy, in part because thinking about the loss of his precious daughter sent a wave of nausea through him again.

"Of course," he whispered as he kissed her head. He shed his shirt and undershirt, throwing them on top of the jacket and tie that had been long discarded onto a chair in the room. Ricky waited as Lucy moved onto her left side, wincing slightly in pain. He climbed beside her, careful not to jar her, brushing her body very slightly.

Ricky slipped his right arm under the pillow and laid his left hand softly on Lucy's hip, his fingers skimming gently over her backside as he was careful to avoid her stomach. Lucy clasped his hand under the pillow, running her other hand along his chest before winding it around his neck, her fingers threading in his hair.

Side by side, finally feeling the warmth of each other's bodies rather than the cold steel and concrete of the hospital and its regimented staff, they finally relaxed and comforted each other.

Ricky slowly closed the space between them, his lips barely brushing Lucy's in a kiss. Feeling her sigh, he continued to kiss her. Her lips parted slowly and his tongue embraced hers. The passion of their kiss was familiar, yet different. It was deep, but very slow and deliberate... as if to consume each other, replacing grief with love.

As they kissed, Ricky's hand moved away from her hip, her mouth moving into a pouty protest. Her lips relaxed when his hand touched her body again, softly cupping her breast, still tender and enlarged from sheltering their tiny daughter for 18 precious weeks, running his thumb softly over her nipple. His familiar touch soothed Lucy further, and she knew that she would one day heal, physically and emotionally. Continuing his gentle caresses, Ricky's lips grazed her neck, leaving more sweet kisses. "Gracias a Dios que estan de vuelte en mis brazos. No nos separamos de nuevo…"

When Lucy's hands went limp as she drifted into sleep, finally feeling some peace, Ricky's hand went back to rest on her waist, where it remained all night as he whispered words of his unending love.

As the sun rose several hours later, Ricky's voice was the first thing Lucy heard, and she knew that somehow, eventually, everything would be alright. Ricky was willing to move heaven and earth to make sure that she was loved and cared for. It was true that the pain still ran deep for both of them and would never go away; it would leave a scar on their hearts, next to the one that had been left by their oldest child two years earlier. But with a love like theirs, nothing would ever break them.


End file.
